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November 16, 2007

Nary a Cross Word

Though I’m not good at crossword puzzles, crossword puzzle definitions come to me spontaneously now and then. Or I try to think them up when I’m bored or can’t sleep. For example:

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Definition: A place for firewood? Answer: a log cabinet.
Definition: Movements of a certain poet and a certain painter? Answer: cummings & Goings.
Definition: An exfoliated arbor? Answer: a treeless trellis.
Definition: An uncertain beginner? Answer: a rocky rookie.
Definition: A person with laryngitis? Answer: a hoarse whisperer.
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I have another strange habit of thinking up spoonerisms, especially on long bus rides. For example:
Hook & Ladder / Lad & Hooker
Nook & Cranny / Crook & Nanny
Blue Chip Stocks / Blue Chopsticks
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And this, which isn’t a true spoonerism: Snub Nose / Stub Toes
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Another category of wordplay is the Homonym Pun. To date I’ve thought up only one:
Definition: A twirling goddess and a favorite sports event:
Answer: Whirled Ceres / World Series
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I’m intrigued by contradictory homonyms. One pair is Raze & Raise. A crossword entry using a Contradictory Homonym might be:
Definition: Harvest a sugar crop. Answer: Raze Cane.
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Since this blog is rather short, here are some recent “Overheard in Passing” jottings:

Date: November 6, 2007
Place: The A train, rush hour
Who: Two 20-something women
Appearance: Racy nonchalance
Attitude: Dubious
Comment: “Neither one of them reads between the lines, and they’re both sending each other signals. I don’t think it’s going to work out.”
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Date: November 11, 2007
Place: 7th Ave. local, 66 St. stop (Lincoln Center)
Who: Elderly woman to her husband
Appearance: All dressed up
Attitude: Excited
Comment: “OK, this is it! This is it! If you want to see Mozart, this is it! If you want to hear Mozart, this is the place.” (Coincidentally, the notebook I had with me to jot this down had a portrait of Mozart on the cover.)
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Date: November 11, 2007
Place: Washington Square, a Sunday morning
Who: 40-something man on his cell phone
Appearance: Priapic casual
Attitude: Rapturous
Comment: “I’d stay with you in New York. I’d stay with you in Laos. I’d stay with you in Paris.”
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Date: November 11, 2007
Place: Franklin Street, Tribeca
Who: 30-something woman and 30-something man
Appearance: Corporate casual
Attitude: She, tentatively: “Was it George Picard?”
Attitude: He, patiently: “George Peppard.”

Posted by Jane on November 16, 2007 6:00 PM

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