"The move was so obvious," a peeved kibitzer may offer to the players around the table. But when you're in the hot seat, you may be thinking close to a dozen moves that could work. Your mind starts to wander off and then, suddenly, you make the wrong move.

After the game you tell yourself that the candidate move was obvious and after a closer look the move you made was a simple blunder that cost you the game.

Often players think more about the games they've won, than the games they've lost. Interestingly enough you can learn more about yourself and the type of player that you are by studying the games you've lost. At the same time you also learn a thing or two about your opponent. You make it a goal to beat him next time by avoiding his traps; or avoiding positions that you're uncomfortable with; or simply avoid the opponent!

Sometimes it's hard to tell when you're winning or losing. The position becomes a blur. But somehow, somewhere, you managed to play the correct moves. Your opponent has no choice but to resign. "Good game." This standard congratulatory remark, however, begs to ask "how did you win?"

More on that later...