Ranting Eva is a twenty-something whose ever observant eye hopes to share the daily trials and tribulations of the 21st century, through some downright opinionated rambling on different facets of pop culture.« A friendly rodent strikes again! | Main | Monkeys, Grails, and Beautiful People »
April 11, 2006
Black Asphalt
Some nights I am restless. I'll be driving home from work or being out, and suddenly I am overwhelmed with the desire to pick up and go. Pedal to the metal, rubber on the road, I just want to drive and put as much distance between me and my life. I don't know where to go, but I follow the black asphalt and hope it leads me somewhere, anywhere really.
Lately, it's been getting stronger. It's as though I enter this trance, where I am on autopilot, stopping at red lights and going on green. The darkened empty roads are my partners in crime, inciting me and exciting me, an electric current.
This is a physical manifestation of the restlessness I feel in my life. I'm confused; always unsure, worse than a weathervane. I have so many interests and yet no opportunities. One day I think I've got things figured out and then the next I am back to square one. At times, I'm jealous of those people who know what they want and hit the fast-track. Things just fall into place for them. My indecisiveness gets the better of me and gets me down.
Maybe this is just part of being a twenty-something in this era. Maybe it's a quarter life crisis: when I was fifteen, I imagined myself in a different place at 25. I thought I'd be somebody, but my reality is different. So until I sort things out for myself, there will always be the black asphalt.
Posted by eva on April 11, 2006 9:48 PM
