Alias: I'm starting with the "Alias" finale because it was not just a season finale, but the series finale. Ok, first let us bow our heads (and silently curse Ben Affleck) as we honor the passing of this fun, if occassionallly ridiculous, spy drama.
All right, now on to the analysis. In the final chapter of the story of superagent Sydney Bristow (Jennifer Garner), all of the show's mysteries were solved.
Is Syd's mom, Irina, really evil? Yes, yes she is.
What did that crazy Rambaldi device do? It provided eternal life.
Can Vaughn actually step up and be a man in a crisis? Surprisingly, yes, as he rescued Syd from a icy death and kept freelance terrorist Sark from destroying the world. Sure, he later let Sark get away, but come on - it's Vaughn. He's constantly getting beaten up by women. If he gets one terrorist not to kill people, that's a huge victory.
The ending should have satisfied fans of the series, as it finally meted out punishment to Irina (who died after falling through a glass roof) and Sloane (granted eternal life, he was then trapped under a big ol' rock in a cave hundreds of feet underground).
Sadly, Syd's solid, stoic, noble dad Jack (one of my favorite characters on TV) died protecting his daughter. But, at least it provided the fine Victor Garber, who plays Jack, with some wonderful final scenes.
All in all, job well done, people of "Alias." We shall miss you.
"24": Well, I'm just going to come right out and say it. I was stunned by the "24" season finale. STUNNED. Well, not so much by the fall of evil President Logan. That was expected, as was Jack's cold-blooded murder of Christopher Henderson. And no, I'm not even talking about the episode's final twist, in which Jack was kidnapped by the Chinese whom he wronged last season.
That kind of thing always happens to Jack.
No, here's the biggest shocker from the (admittedly excellent) season finale: Computer geek Chloe used to be married! To some sauve English dude! Huh?
Oh you wacky "24" scribes! What will you think of next?
"Lost": Ow. "Lost," you make my head hurt. Sure, your season finale revealed that the button in the hatch does indeed serve a purpose. And you resolved some of our questions about former hatch-dweller Desmond. And sure, it was nice to see Walt again. But,in true "Lost" fashion, you raised so many perplexing questions, and had so many cliffhangers that next season can't come fast enough.
Were Locke, Eko, and/or Desmond killed in the explosion in the hatch? What's going to happen to the castaways who were captured by the Others? Will Walt and Michael really reach safety? What role does Desmond's sweetie, Penny, (glimpsed in the episode's final scenes) play in this whole scenario? And who are the gosh-darned "Others"?
I'll say it again -- ow.
"Desperate Housewives": Ladies, I've spent the entire season defending you. When people said you were played out, I chalked it up to sophomore-season backlash, held my head high and tried to keep loving you.
But the final episodes just eroded all my goodwill by rehashing old plotlines. Gabby and Carlos's marriage is threatened by infedility -- again. Mike's life is on the line because of a creepy presence from his past -- again. Bree has attracted the eye of a psycho -- again.
Oh, "Housewives" -- how could you betray me like this? Maybe it's good that I won't see you for the next months. It will give me time to work through this feelings of hurt and betrayal. Consider it a trial separation, with the possibility of a divorce.