When the ep starts, it picks up where last season left off, with Jack and Kate at LAX, him screaming "We have to go back!" at her car as she drives away. We now see what happened next -- Kate peels back, parks the car, gets out and gives Jack a piece of her mind. It's revealed in the course of this conversation that the person whose funeral Jack attended in last season's finale was a guy named Jeremy Bentham. "Jeremy," it turns out, visited both of them before his death and told them that the only way to save everyone was to go back to the island. Kate is pissed. So are viewers, who have never heard of Jeremy Bentham before. Of course, we learn later that "Jeremy" is, in fact, island dweller John Locke. I did a Google search of the name Jeremy Bentham and it turns out that -- surprise! -- the real Bentham was a philospher. Man -- another philospher reference? This isn't college! Spare our brains, people! Anyway, this alias was probably a hint as to the true identity of the corpse in the coffin (heretofore referred to as CITC).
Anyway, back on the island, the castaways are still all split up. Kate and Sayid help Ageless Richard rescue Ben. Keamey is shot.
Jack and Sawyer find Hurley and, subsequently, Locke and Ben. Locke tells Jack to stay on the island, and that, if he leaves, he'll have to lie about everything to protect everyone who's still on the island. Ben tells him to take Sawyer and Hurley, board the helicopter and go. Jack listens to Ben. Jack is a dope.
Jack, Hurley and Sawyer go with Frank, pick up Kate and Sayid, and head to the freighter. A bomb is on the freighter. So are Michael, Desmond, Jin and Sun. Michael tries to freeze the battery as the others try to defuse the bomb. We learn that the bomb will be triggered when Keamey dies.
Elsewhere, Ben and Locke prepare to move the island. Keamey shows up. Ben stabs Keamey. Locke panics, telling Ben that Keamey's death means the death of everyone on the boat. Ben doesn't care. Ben is a jerk.
Meanwhile, the copter holding Jack, et al is losing fuel. Frank says they won't make the freighter unless they drop off all unnecessary weight. They dump out a bunch of equipment, but the chopper is still too heavy. Hurley waits uncomfortably for everyone to push him out. Instead, Sawyer jumps out into the water below. He lives, inexpicably. Jack looks mad that he didn't think of jumping out before Sawyer did. They land on the boat. Sun and Desmond inform them that there's a bomb on the boat. They drag Sun on board. She's waiting for Jin. The chopper takes off. Keamey dies. The frozen battery keeps the bomb from exploding immediately. Jin runs up to the deck to meet Sun. She's gone. We see her on the chopper, screaming for Jin. The "ghost" of Jack's dad shows up and tells Michael he can go now. The boat blows up. Sun screams.
Elsewhere, Sawyer emerges from the water on the beach. He sees Juliette getting blitzed on Dharma rum. She informs him that the boat blew up. They both look sad.
Meanwhile, Ben bids Locke adieu, and tells him he's now the leader of the Others, and that Ageless Richard will tell him what to do. Then, Ben goes into some weird room, wearing that parka we saw him in in the desert. He spins a giant wheel. Boom! The island disappears from view. The people on the chopper see it disappear from view. Jack later disagrees with Hurley when Hurley claims that Locke moved the island. Hurley tells Jack to get bent. Hurley is awesome.
Then, the chopper runs out of fuel. They crash land, get aboard a life raft and find a boat. Surprise! It's Penny's boat. Desmond stays with Penny and the rest of the Oceanic 6 head off to another island, to help create a cover story.
In flash-forward land, Jack whines a lot. Kate has nightmares about Claire. Sun arranges a meet with Charles Widmore. Walt goes to visit Hurley. So does Sayid. And Hurley beats Mr. Eko's ghost at chess.
Then, finally, we Jack back at the funeral parlor. He breaks in. Ben is there. Ben says, if Jack wants to go back to the island, he must gather the rest of the Six. And he has to take the guy in the coffin. Then, the camera pans back. We see the face of the guy in the coffin.
Yeah, it's Locke.
Ok, so here are some thoughts:
* How did Locke get off the island? How did he die? The obit says suicide, but, given Sayid's comments to Hurley, I think our favorite torturer/assassin might be behind this.
* What is Sun up to? What does she want to discuss with Widmore? We know Locke/Jeremy visited a bunch of the Six-ers. Did he see her? Did he tell her Ben killed Keamey and maybe caused Jin's death? Is she gunning for Ben? Jack thinks she blames him for Jin's death but, then, Jack always thinks it's about him.
* We know Michael is probably dead. And Locke -- future Locke at least -- is dead. But is Jin really dead? And what about Claire? We never saw her die, but Jack's dad appeared to her, like he appeared to Michael and Locke. Does Jack's dad only appear to those who will die? Does this mean Jack will die?
* Of all the Sixers, why does Walt visit Hurley? Is it just because Hurley is nice? Is it because he's the least dangerous? Did Locke tell him to see Hurley?
* Who fed Claire's baby when they were on that raft headed to Membata? Who changed his diapers? (this question actually comes from a co-worker, but it's a good point).
* So, Hurley talks to the dead. He chats with Charlie, and plays chess with Eko. Who else does he see? Does he have a regular squash game with Ana Lucia? Is he having nasty ghost sex with Libby?
Anyway, that's it. But let me just say that it's INSANE that we have to wait until January to find out.